Because hearing shared experiences can be cathartic and healing (helps us normalize and validate our experiences), I wanted to share four things that the narcissist in my life has said to me repeatedly, and WHY I believe she does it.

These phrases (by themselves) aren’t necessarily signs of narcissism (that’s evaluated in other ways that I’ll share below), they’re just examples of speech that show up in a person that does have many other narcissistic tendencies, like the ones you’ll see listed below.

Once we know what to look for, it becomes more easy to spot a narcissist trying to shift blame or accountability, help others feel guilt or shame, manipulate others into doing what the narcissist wants, or undermining/discounting the beliefs, thoughts, and feelings of those around them. When we can more quickly identify what the narcissist is really doing, it’s easier to respond more proactively instead of reactively. So, I hope this helps provide a few examples of someone’s experience.

On previous videos, I’ve gotten some questions like, “I’ve done or said this thing before- does that make ME a narcissist, too?”. Certainly not. All of us can periodically show signs of self-centeredness or arrogance.

Those certified to formally diagnose narcissism usually refer to the DSM (Diagnostic Stat Manual of Mental Disorders) which lists the following 9 traits as a guideline for narcissism. I didn’t cover those in this video, but they are:

1) Inflated self-esteem or a grandiose sense of self-importance or superiority

2) Craving admiration

3) Exploitative relationships (i.e., manipulation)

4) Little to no empathy

5) Identity is easily disturbed (i.e., can’t handle criticism)

6) Lack of attachment and intimacy

7) Feelings of depression or emptiness when not validated

8) A sense of entitlement

9) Can feel like others are envious of them, or may envy others

For a formal diagnosis, someone must have 5 of the 9 present. I hope this helps. #narcissism #narcissist #narcissitic #narcissisthealing #narcissistic