For years, I used to take on the narcissist’s “stuff”.
Then one day, I realized I didn’t have to. It wasn’t my job to manage their emotions or help them be okay. It was THEIR job.
After growing up with a narcissist in my life, I realized there’s several things narcissists commonly do when others are speaking to them and they DON’T LIKE what’s being said.
Which, oh by the way, is OFTEN.
That’s because most narcissists are judgmental, convinced of their tightly-held paradigms, opinions, and values, and self-absorbed. So, it’s very HARD for them to listen to someone express a differing opinion, share new information or data that doesn’t support their existing beliefs, or even when a person just talks for what’s (in their eyes) too LONG. That causes the narcissist to feel all their emotions- anger, annoyance, irritation, impatience, boredom.
The list goes on. And, because narcissists aren’t usually able to manage their emotions terribly well (since self-awareness, self-regulation, humility, and empathy aren’t usually strengths for them), they ACT OUT.
Today, I share five things I’ve seen narcissists do in conversations and at the end, I also share the learnings and realizations I’ve had for how to DEAL with these. I want anyone watching this to remember:
You’re not alone.
Your experience is normal.
You don’t have to change yourself so they narcissist doesn’t.
You don’t have to stay in conversations where you’re not being respected.
You can set boundaries for yourself.
