This is probably one of the more uncomfortable “Transformation Tuesday” videos I’ve ever made. It’s all about feedback I got from another individual that wasn’t positive. When someone tells us something that we’ve done or said that’s bothering them, we often try to get ourselves out of it. We feel hurt. We get defensive. We want to explain that we didn’t “mean” to do it. Or that we didn’t “mean” any harm by it. We want to use our intentions to justify our results. We do this because it helps those painful feelings go away. None of that is helpful. In this video, I discuss the TWO STEPS that turn critical feedback into a constructive moment. First, when we get tough feedback from someone who cares about us, we have an opportunity to make the relationship BETTER by realizing that feedback is a GIFT. We can thank you for it. We can feel gratitude for it. We can choose to view it as a GOOD thing that someone has come to us and honestly expressed how they’re feeling about us. Second, we can OWN it. WThis is probably one of the more uncomfortable “Transformation Tuesday” videos I’ve ever made. It’s all about feedback I got from another individual that wasn’t positive.
When someone tells us something that we’ve done or said that’s bothering them, we often try to get ourselves out of it. We feel hurt. We get defensive. We want to explain that we didn’t “mean” to do it. Or that we didn’t “mean” any harm by it. We want to use our intentions to justify our results. We do this because it helps those painful feelings go away.
None of that is helpful. In this video, I discuss the TWO STEPS that turn critical feedback into a constructive moment.
First, when we get tough feedback from someone who cares about us, we have an opportunity to make the relationship BETTER by realizing that feedback is a GIFT. We can thank you for it. We can feel gratitude for it. We can choose to view it as a GOOD thing that someone has come to us and honestly expressed how they’re feeling about us.
Second, we can OWN it. We can be responsible for ourselves, our feelings, and also- what we DID. We can take accountability. Instead of trying to convince the other person that we didn’t do anything wrong, or they shouldn’t be THAT upset, or that they’ve done something bad TOO- we can simply APOLGOIZE (and mean it). We can say we’re sorry. We can commit to doing better in the future. We can then KEEP that commitment.
When we do these two things, we can grow, evolve, and change. We can get better. We can get stronger. And our day doesn’t have to be ruined either.
My advice to anyone who’s getting tough feedback? Don’t be so brittle and fragile that others can’t come to with feedback about your problems. Don’t ever believe that you’re so perfect that you don’t mess up and hurt other people’s feelings. Own your past behavior. Be willing to sit in some pain and discomfort. Be willing to stew on it. Be willing to think about it.
Do all this- and you’ll set yourself up for success because you’ll be a person that others can come to, and if you use what you get from them, you’ll be ahead of all the other people who refuse to do this.
You’ll stand out if you do this, because, this isn’t all that common.
Oh, by the way- are you in LEADERSHIP?? It’s even MORE important you do this, do it often, and do it publicly at times.
#feedback #thanksforthefeedback #constructivefeedback #constructivecriticism #growthmindset #growth #coaching #coach #leadership #leadershiplessonse can be responsible for ourselves, our feelings, and also- what we DID. We can take accountability. Instead of trying to convince the other person that we didn’t do anything wrong, or they shouldn’t be THAT upset, or that they’ve done something bad TOO- we can simply APOLGOIZE (and mean it). We can say we’re sorry. We can commit to doing better in the future. We can then KEEP that commitment. When we do these two things, we can grow, evolve, and change. We can get better. We can get stronger. And our day doesn’t have to be ruined either. My advice to anyone who’s getting tough feedback? Don’t be so brittle and fragile that others can’t come to with feedback about your problems. Don’t ever believe that you’re so perfect that you don’t mess up and hurt other people’s feelings. Own your past behavior. Be willing to sit in some pain and discomfort. Be willing to stew on it. Be willing to think about it. Do all this- and you’ll set yourself up for success because you’ll be a person that others can come to, and if you use what you get from them, you’ll be ahead of all the other people who refuse to do this. You’ll stand out if you do this, because, this isn’t all that common. Oh, by the way- are you in LEADERSHIP?? It’s even MORE important you do this, do it often, and do it publicly at times. #feedback #thanksforthefeedback #constructivefeedback #constructivecriticism #growthmindset #growth #coaching #coach #leadership #leadershiplessons
