How good are you at APOLOGIZING?

Learn how to apologize when you’ve made a mistake and your relationships will IMMEDIATELY get BETTER.

How we apologize says A LOT about us. If we care about the person we’ve hurt (and hurt happens in ALL relationships), then it’s important we figure out how to SAY WE’RE SORRY.

Here’s a few components of a truly heartfelt, authentic, genuine apology:

1) It’s SPECIFIFC. You don’t JUST say “Sorry for Saturday night”. You talk about exactly what happened.

2) You discuss the IMPACT of your behavior. Acknowledge what EFFECT your actions had on the person you’ve hurt. Talk about their feelings. Say, “I’m hearing you felt disrespected, hurt, and alone because I did this. I am just so sorry my actions caused that.” When people hear their FEELINGS repeated back to them, they often feel far more heard and valued.

3) Make your apology in PERSON, if you can. Email and text is not nearly as effective.

4) Share your plans to behave differently in the future. MAKE a commitment around how you’ll change your behavior, and be prepared to KEEP that commitment. If you’re truly sorry, you won’t just SAY it, you’ll actually change your ACTIONS.

5) Don’t cite external reasons. Take ownership. Don’t make excuses. Don’t blame traffic, the weather, or things that happened TO YOU as PART of your apology. This shifts the focus and responsibility away from you, and onto others. This makes your apology much less heartfelt.

6) Talk about the VALUE you place on the relationship. Let people know how much they mean to you. Tell people that you realize this is a big deal. Don’t blow it off.

7) Take time to LISTEN. Absorb anything others need to get off THEIR chests. If you’re not willing to sit in the pain of another, it can seem like you don’t really want to HEAR how they’re feeling.

Mistakes and mishaps happen in nearly ALL relationships. We’re human. At some point or another, you will have to apologize. If you use these 7 practices, your apology can be taken seriously and actually have a POSITIVE impact on the relationship.

relationshipadvice relationshipcoach relationships apology sorry leadership leadership lifeadvice lifecoach