Blood was all over my shorts, and the other kids were all making fun of me. This was a common occurrence; I was bullied a lot in middle school. But this day, I didn’t know WHY.
The school nurse saw this happening, and called my dad to come pick me up. When I realized what had happened, I was more than embarrassed. I felt humiliated, uncomfortable, and sad.
But what happened NEXT- when I got home- was what REALLY stuck with me.
And that reaction informed a lot of my own reactions- for a LOT of years. How I got treated THAT day became part of how I treated others, especially my partner.
Until I realized, it didn’t HAVE to be that way.
I grew up with a lot of childhood trauma. For years, I watched my mother choose anger, distrust, disrespect, fear, anxiety, worry, and jealousy INSTEAD of LOVE.
Not surprisingly, my own relationships failed as a result.
About 10 years ago, I realized I could put love FIRST. I could choose love OVER things like anger, confusion, surprise, annoyance, distrust, and jealousy.
But, more importantly, I also realized that what I’d seen in childhood didn’t need to become MY own reality in adulthood.
I realized that:
✅Our childhood trauma and past experiences definitely INFLUENCE us.
✅BUT, they only DEFINE us IF we ALLOW them to.
✅Our past doesn’t HAVE to become our future.
✅We can make changes to how we respond to things that upset or trigger us.
That awareness has CHANGED MY LIFE.
I know it’ll change YOURS, too. Reach out if you have thoughts or comments.
