Clients ask me all the time, “Amy, how do I know when to use empathy and care about them versus hold them accountable?”
The client who asked me this today literally set it up as a battle. On the agenda he sent me for our call, it literally said: “Empathy VERSUS leadership.”
Empathy and holding people accountable are NOT at war with one another. They’re not in opposition or diametrically opposed.
When we hold people accountable, it’s BECAUSE we care about them- not because we DON’T.
When we’re willing to:
✅ Inconvenience ourselves and make time to talk straight and be honest
✅ Sit in the discomfort of having a tough conversation
✅ Risk that the person we’re speaking to may not like us anymore
✅ Take a shot to our ego
ALL because we have high expectations of someone else and BELIEVE in their ABILITIES to achieve those expectations- that ALL comes from a place of great care and empathy.
It’s EXACTLY the kind of conversation we’d have with the people we love and care about MOST- like our partners, our kids, or our best friends.
When we hold people accountable to expectations, we not only show care for THEM. We show care for the people who work with them and around them, the organization itself, and the customers or clients of that organization.
Ignoring bad behavior and not applying consequences for the wrong actions (or a lack of action) creates an inconsistent, unfair, toxic environment for EVERYONE else. You might THINK you’re showing empathy for ONE person by avoiding these tough interactions, but what you’re REALLY doing is showing a LACK of empathy for everyone ELSE.
You’re also failing to do the job you’re paid to do- LEADERSHIP. Avoiding tough conversations or having too much empathy doesn’t get results. Instead, it keeps the status quo. Leaders are NOT put in place to keep the status quo. They’re responsible for getting results; not enabling people.
As a former boss always used to say: “If you want everyone to like you, go join the circus.”
Watch this video if you’re struggling to have difficult and crucial conversations with your team because you’re trying to have EMPATHY.
hashtagleadership hashtagleadershipdevelopment hashtagleadershipskills hashtagleadershipcoaching hashtagleadershiptips hashtagaccountability hashtagaccountabilitypartners hashtagemapthy hashtagleader
